Exordium

For at least 5 years of my life people have been telling me I missed my calling and I should have been a writer.  Frankly, I may have teetered with the idea more thoroughly if I was aware of the avenues of income for people who write and aren't under the [inter]national eye.  Honestly, I consider myself a humble wordsmith- a communicator capable of twisting words and phrases to get my point across.  Thus, I write very much like I talk.  **Disclaimer** Scholars beware.  You will certainly hate me in 2 blogs +/- 1.  Mrs. Wozniak (my high school English teacher), if you ever read this, it's not your fault.  If any of you who are reading this have never talked to me or read my writing, it may prove offensive.  Below I list a few additional explanations of my literary quirks in an attempt to prepare you for what you may be entering into ('into' is a preposition and prepositions are not words to end sentences with). 

Style:  I tend to carry on in a non-traditional grammatical structure shades of Cormac McCarthy with much disdain for standard and proper punctuation.  Frequently (as you probably noticed above) I use disclaimers.  These generally allow me to escape the confines of simple thought and reach out for the deeper significance within an argument.  They will often prevent you, the reader, from thinking into a tangent and going awry from my communicative intent.  Sometimes my writing reads like a complex algorithm.  Read enough posts and you'll understand.  I love using parentheses to interject ideas within a sentence, and it is not uncommon for me to use double parentheses to modify what was in the previous parentheses.  Follow?  I also overuse ellipses...  Enough about grammar.  I'll just try to keep things interesting with hopes you'll come back for more. 

Rating:  My intent is to keep this blog at a steady PG to PG-13 rating.  I will try to keep my highly offensive substitute letters and marginally inappropriate hyperbolic similes/metaphors to a minimum.  Occasionally I will push the envelope to keep things fresh, and because (as my wife Amanda will tell you) I have no filter.  I would simply argue if it were an air filter for your home furnace, it would be the Sam's Club generic brand, $20 filter pack of 50 rather than the $15 each 3M antimicrobial, bug zapping, dust stopping kind that catches your pet hair, stretches it out, weaves it, and donates it to Locks of Love.  Just think... you're getting more for your money (where time=money). 

Themes:  Much like this initial post establishing the background, framework, and reason for this blog, it will likely have a tendency to transcend all genres.  Topics may include but are not limited to sports, metapolitics, faith, quasi politics, Care Bears, life, dog ownership, BM's, how Nickelodeon is not what it used to be, how to hold the media accountable, current events, marriage, Georgia Bulldogs, work incidents, magic tricks, manliness, how clowns should be outlawed if guns are outlawed, and other various rants.  I will occasionally be serious and I will mostly be satirical. 

A few suggestions: 

1.  I disbosom- you may see me use the dictionary.com word of the day in a post.  I request you be couthie and not advert to challenge the breadth of my vocabulary.  A new word a day keeps the rebro[a]bate[d].  <---Mind. Blown.   

2.  Leave me feedback.  The last time I did any extensive writing in my specific [grammatically abusive] tone was when I worked on a cruise ship and travelled the Mighty Med.  Feedback kept me going and inspired me for more posts.  You are more than welcome to leave me suggestions of things you would like to see me ponder. 

I have no idea with what frequency I'll be able to keep this up, but I look forward to it nonetheless.  I hope you all enjoy.